It’s Thanksgiving. Everyone is saying what they are thankful for so here is my spill:
- I’m thankful for the little things.
- I’m thankful that I’ve allowed myself to grow.
- I’m thankful that I’ve realized it’s okay to put myself first.
- I’m thankful that I’ve realized my time is valuable.
- I’m thankful that I know how to distinguish who and what is worth my time.
- I’m thankful that I’ve chosen to not associate myself with toxic people
What’s a toxic person?
A person who creates drama in their own lives, manipulates or controls others, uses people to meet their needs, critical of others, doesn’t own up to something they’ve done wrong, and makes every conversation about themselves. Basically, someone that can be extremely dangerous to your well being and sanity.
While we can’t always avoid these types of people, we can choose how much time we spend with them.
Throughout the years I always thought it was best to deal with toxic people head on and full force. I thought it would make me stronger to know how to deal with these negative souls.
The truth is, these people can’t be “dealt” with until you add some distance into your relationship. Their behavior can rarely ever be reasoned with meaning you will eventually get to a point where you’re sacrificing your own happiness for this person.
SIDE NOTE for my super spiritual people: I know you may feel like it is “God’s will” to help these people but you still need to set boundaries. Don’t enable them. They need to learn to function by themselves.
I saw a trend in my own life where I was constantly trying to fix people. Their lives were dysfunctional and crazy (not the good kind of crazy)… and they weren’t willing to take any steps to fix that.
You have to say NO to these types of people or they will suck the life out of you.
I truly believe that you are only as good as the people that you surround yourself with and misery loves company.
Remove the bad and add the good. Surround yourself with positive influences who share the same perspectives as you. You should get something out of every relationship in your life. Not material wise but as in helping you grow as a person, motivate you, support you, and bring joy to your life. If you have someone who doesn’t do any of those things, you might want to take some time to re-evaluate your relationship.
I was in the bookstore one day scanning through books (I love feel good books and self help books) Anyways, I came across one called Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie and found this:
“Toxic people blatantly deny their own manipulative behavior and ignore evidence when confronted with it. They become dismissive and critical if you attempt to disprove their fabrications with facts. Instead of them actually addressing their inappropriate behavior, somehow it always becomes your fault for being “sensitive” and “crazy.” Toxic people condition you to believe that the problem isn’t the abuse itself, but instead your reactions to their abuse.”
YES, YES, AND YES.
See, I always thought tolerating and dealing with this type of behavior made me strong. However, cutting these people off is what really made me strong.
I was mentally strong enough to take a hold of my life.
To wrap this vent up, I just want to ask readers to do one thing:
Don’t ever compromise yourself for anyone.
It’s your life, your happiness, your health, and your decision.